Volo's Rules to A Dungeon

<div class="sv-backstory"> <div class="sv-backstory-title">Volo's Rules</div> <div class="sv-backstory-heading">Absolutely Foolproof Rules for Dungeon Delving</div> <div class="sv-backstory-text"> By Volothamp Geddarm, who has survived enough dungeons to know better than to enter another. 1. Trust a flumph. Few creatures in the Underdark will offer directions without first considering how you taste. 2. Toss a copper into a suspicious pool before drinking. It might reveal a water weird. A copper is considerably cheaper than a resurrection. 3. Never open a chest before poking it. If the pole sticks, congratulations! You've found a mimic. Unfortunately, it's found you too. 4. No one carves statues of terrified adventurers. If you encounter several, stop admiring the craftsmanship and start avoiding eye contact. 5. When skeletons rise, reach for a hammer. Bones break more readily than they bleed, a distinction swordsmen often discover too late. 6. Carry a few gemstones for hungry xorn. They'll eat your jewels regardless. At least this way you might get directions first. 7. Always bring fire when opening ancient sarcophagi. Mummies dislike it, and you'll want to see what's killing you. 8. A functioning trap does not guarantee treasure. It only guarantees someone wanted you to stay out. There may be an excellent reason. 9. Never remove an artefact from an ornate pedestal without examining the pedestal. The treasure may be perfectly harmless. The room, less so. 10. Beware beautiful strangers found alone in forgotten dungeons. They are seldom lost, rarely helpless, and almost never interested in your personality. 11. If a glowing object ignores your ten-foot pole, do not immediately try your finger. That is how magical artefacts acquire new owners. 12. Wear gloves when handling mysterious treasures. They won't stop a curse, but at least you'll look professional when it takes hold. 13. Treat every dungeon relic as cursed until proven otherwise. And remember, identifying its magic doesn't necessarily identify its curse. 14. Always greet unfamiliar statues politely. Most won't answer. The ones that do are precisely why you should have asked. 15. Never congratulate yourself on killing a lich until you've found its phylactery. Otherwise you've merely given an immortal wizard a personal grievance. 16. Never eat anything growing in a dungeon. Some fungi are nutritious. Others will ensure you become nutritious. 17. Never interrupt a talking ghost. The dead have had centuries to prepare their stories, and some become terribly unpleasant when interrupted. 18. Never step into a runic circle you cannot identify. It might heal you, teleport you, or summon something delighted to meet you. Guessing is inadvisable. 19. Do not make offerings at unidentified altars. You may accidentally acquire a divine patron. Some are considerably harder to dismiss than others. 20. Always check behind tapestries and beneath rugs. Dungeon builders adore secret passages. Unfortunately, so do things with too many legs. 21. Bring a proper ten-foot pole. A five-foot spear only tells you about the trap once you're five feet too close. 22. Do not poke unfamiliar mushrooms. Shriekers summon unwanted attention, and other fungi have even less pleasant ways of expressing displeasure. 23. Always carry a large towel. You'll find a use for it eventually. If you don't, you clearly haven't explored enough dungeons. 24. If you find a powerful creature imprisoned in a dungeon, ask what put it there. Then ask whether that thing is still around. Preferably while leaving. One final piece of advice: never be ashamed to flee. The difference between a coward and a veteran adventurer is frequently nothing more than timing. — Volothamp Geddarm </div> </div>